Available exclusively at the Silver Lake Café, Silver Lake, Minnesota
Volume I, Issue 3 November 2005
***** Silver Lake Gazette Contributors
Helen Yost -- my wife, owner of the Silver Lake Café The Theorist -- not afraid to walk the fine line between genius and insanity Alenka D. Lasic -- SLG correspondent in Ljubljana, Slovenia Mrs. Trygve Strindberg -- President of the Silver Lake Historical Society Solar O’Flaherty -- never did sell out to the Establishment Lisa A. Dauscher -- librarian at Sleepy Eye High School Fritz Urke -- semi-retired plumber and regular customer at the Cafe Larry Yost -- Editor (LarryYostSLG@aol.com)
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***** How’s Your Geography?
Ljubljana is located between two famous cities starting with the letter “V.” Name them.
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***** Crossword Puzzles
Now that I’m more-or-less retired, I do the New York Times crossword puzzle almost everyday. There are two reasons why. The first is that completing a crossword puzzle is one of the few things that I can do perfectly, at last on occasion. The world is a messy place, and we seldom know if we are doing things the best way, or even close to it. With a crossword puzzle, there is only one correct solution and it is possible to know when you have it because there is a double-check for every answer. The second is that I learn something almost everyday from solving the puzzle. The other day, one of the clues was “to act like Niobe” (five-letters). I did some research and found that Niobe had fourteen children, who were all killed after she offended the gods with an arrogant comment. Thereafter, Niobe cried so much that her tears formed a river. Still, to the Greeks that recorded the myth, she got what she deserved. That made me think a little. -- Larry Yost
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***** Fudge
The basic idea of fudge is to pack as much chocolate, sugar and cream flavor into a bite as possible. To do this you combine chocolate and cream with a hyper-concentrated sugar solution. Once the solution is boiled to the proper consistency, it is quickly cooled so that the sugar will crystallize. Here is my favorite fudge recipe: In a saucepan combine ¾ cup cream, ¾ cup milk, ¼ cup corn syrup, 4 oz. unsweetened baker’s chocolate (semisweet chocolate or cocoa powder can be substituted if it will save you a trip to the store). Bring to a boil with frequent stirring. Monitor temperature with a candy thermometer. Remove from heat when temperature reaches 234-238. Add ¼ cup butter and one tsp vanilla. Beat with electric mixer for 5-10 minutes to aerate and cool mixture. When the ripples on top stop settling into the rest of the mixture, pour into a 9 x 13 pan. If adding pecans or walnuts, stop mixing a little early to add the nut meats. -- Helen Yost
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***** A Possible Explanation
I’ve determined that the reason men do not feel appreciated is based on a constant male-to-female male energy drain mechanism that has been programmed into our genetic fabric since the dawn of mankind. It’s why women live seven years longer on the average than men. Women deceive and seduce us into compliance using their pheromones and sleek docking ports. They compel us to couple, and the download happens in a sickening rush before we have the sense to pull out. The ball and chain is attached while we sleep, and we drag on through life burning all of our calories and exhausting our brain trust--all to supply the needs of women, no matter how trite and pointless they may be. Then, when we’re spent, when we’ve morphed into dry husks with nary a calorie to burn, they leave us for younger dudes and as much property as they can seize (or off us for the insurance and then scrimp on our funeral expenses). The paradox here is that married men supposedly live 3.5 years longer than single guys. My take on that is, we simply get more adjusted to the constant resource drainage and can endure it longer with less systemic shock. This theory fits with the fact that married man are much more willing than single dudes to die or be committed to asylums. Ain’t life a bitch . . .. -- The Theorist
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***** Letter to the Editor - Rebuttal
Dear Larry, After previewing this issue of the Gazette, I object to your publication of the garbage spewing from the mind of the so-called “Theorist.” (I know it’s you anyway, Jeff.) I may have gotten my late husband’s entire estate and a tidy sum of insurance money, but I did not scrimp too much on his funeral. Gotta run or Sergio and I will be late for the midnight buffet on the promenade deck. Regards, Mildred Grimstad By e-mail from the Caribbean
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***** THE LITTLE SHE MOSES
Answer to my first question: how I came to this world? Somewhere in the Alps the God personally made me from clay. He swiped me with a stick (probably willow) and I become alive. He put me in a basket (again personally made) and sent it to float to a small spring which run into a river and that one into a much bigger river and so on. Beside this river my grandfather was catching a fish. He noticed the basket and caught it and saw in it a cute little girl. And just because his daughter wished a girl at that time he took me home (with his bicycle of course). What would have happened if his daughter did not wish a baby at that time? Would another grandpa catch me? Or would a fish eat me? That was always my question. I never asked what I should do in this world. It was somehow obvious. Be diligent. And I was not. -- Alenka D. Lasic
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***** From The Past -- Historical news items gleaned from the morgue of the defunct Silver Lake Pioneer-Commercial
20 Years Ago -- November 19, 1985 Nothing much happened in Silver Lake today. A baby was born, but he isn't expected to be a prominent citizen in the future. Walt Shield stopped by the implement dealer. Walt's in the market for a new tractor, but he didn't buy anything today. He told one reporter he's waiting to see what's available at the Guldseth auction next week first. He prefers a red tractor over green. No one claimed the daily dollar give-away at Howard's Produce.
40 Years Ago -- November 8, 1965 Silver Lake was honored to have Hall of Fame pitcher Burleigh Grimes stop in at the Silver Lake Drive-In on Saturday. "Ol' Stubblebeard," the famed spitball pitcher for the Brooklyn Dodgers, chatted with locals, and showed one lad how to juice up a baseball with Brylcreem, telling him, "A little dab'll do ya." Grimes had a burger and malted, and smiled slyly when a waitress dropped the slippery malted glass while clearing his table.
90 Years Ago, November 20, 1915 Rare presence of mind probably saved the life of Herb Gluek, prominent Silver Lake banker and merchant, early Tuesday when a freight train ran into his automobile at the Seventh Street crossing. Mr. Gluek, who was alone in his car, emerged with a bleeding nose and aching back and limbs after leaping from the shattered car. Both rear wheels of the car were completely ripped away, both axles were bent, and the chassis was shattered beyond repair. Mr. Gluek views the matter philosophically. "Everything will be alright if this accident becomes the means of establishing some better crossing protection in Silver Lake," stated Mr. Gluek, while shopping for a new auto at Clete's Horseless Carriage and Livery.
-- Mrs. Trygve Strindberg
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***** Machu Picchu
About 10 years ago I spent a month in Lima, Peru. Naturally, I wanted to see Machu Picchu, so I flew to Cuzco for the weekend. Cuzco sits at a pretty high altitude, and I don't know if it was the thin air or the Peruvian food, but by that night I was feeling pretty cruddy. When I woke up the next morning I felt even worse. From Cuzco, you take a little train down the East side of the Andes montains towards the Amazon jungle. I had the foresight to carry a blanket with me and I wrapped myself in it during the train ride. Right about where things start getting lush the train stops by a river. From there you take a bus up a winding road to the top of a steep bluff and there sits Machu Picchu. A guide showed us around and pointed out all the amazing ruins, but all I could think about was, "I'm feeling sick; where is a bathroom?" I spent most of the day back and forth between this filthy little restroom and the ruins. Towards the afternoon I found, among the ruins, this open courtyard with a tree in the middle and I lied down in the shade of this tree and felt much better and took a nap. I think this was what Don Juan would call my "spot" or sitio. Now, whenever I see a photo of Machu Picchu, I look for my tree (it is easily visible from most photos) and I have this peaceful feeling. -- Solar O'Flaherty
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***** Choice Quotation
“It is useless attacking the insensible” -- Aesop
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***** Orchids
Through a veil of enigmatic, yet tangible passion- unless you are immune to the wonders of nature- you might enter the realm of orchids. More unambiguously, you might be stepping into my conservatory where a hundred species thrive, daring to dazzle your eyes, mystify your mind, capture your imagination, and your heart. You may then be lured into wanting to possess one of these potted beauties. Ah, but don't pick one up just yet! Respectfully, I have very strict guidelines as to who I give my orchids away to. First, you MUST have an open mind. Simply, in the world of orchids, if your mind is closed, so is my conservatory. Turn around please. You might be able to find some nice marigolds at the grocery store. And if you're feeling bold, you might even pick up a tulip or two. But, if you think you care to venture into my conservatory out of genuine curiosity, the need for a delightful challenge, and the will to nurture a splendor of nature, then please by all means step inside. If you are already an orchid enthusiast, I'm sure you'll find your cup of tea just as you like it. And I'm here to serve you! If you are a beginner and would like to face the challenge, then I'll gladly guide the way. Second rule of thumb for who I give my orchids to: You must do some reading about orchids. There are many wonderful and informative books on the subject, as well as several resources and websites to be found on the internet. Sadly, too many times I've seen people who bought orchids and then unwittingly killed them because they were not familiar with the proper care. No orchid deserves such an unfair and early death! If you provide your orchids with tender loving care, they will live for years to come, and will delight you with the magic of re-blooming. -- Lisa A. Dauscher
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***** Geography Answer:
Venice, Italy Vienna, Austria
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***** The Way I See It
I just finished reading a book called Pioneer Pastor. It’s about a minister named Nils Njus who served congregations in the extreme northwest corner of Minnesota during 1903 - 1905. Originally written in Norwegian, his stories describe determination and character in the face of poverty, limited resources, and terrible weather. Throughout the book, he recites the hardships that he and other settlers endured with compassion and humor. Paster Njus traveled his territory in a wagon pulled by a team of two horses through boggy undeveloped countryside in all kinds of weather to do his duty as an agent of the church. While on his rounds, Njus often stayed with farm families in their one-bedroom houses. In addition to sleeping ten to a room sometimes, he often had to endure lice, bedbugs and fleas in the beds he was provided. Several episodes are recounted in which he lies in bed getting eaten alive while his host family snores all around him - sometimes in the same bed! I was talking with an old-timer about this, and the old-timer said that he remembers as a kid having to wash their tick mattresses with kerosene in order to keep the bedbugs at bay. He said that they filled their mattress covers with fresh hay every two weeks or so, and that bedbugs were part of the deal. I asked him how they put up with it. He answered that they didn’t know any better - they just figured that it was part of a normal life. Fortunately I’ve never had to sleep with bedbugs, lice or fleas, but I do put up with a number of things that I tolerate just because I think they are just “part of a normal life.” All-in-all, I’m not too sure that I’m any better off than Pastor Njus was in 1903. On the one hand, the bedbug stories give me hope that some of my current troubles will someday be solved. One the other hand, the fact that I have current troubles means that there will probably always be more troubles down the line. Though the book wasn’t preachy, its message is simple: follow the example of Niels Njus and, no matter the circumstances, try to face the world with determination, character, compassion and humor. -- Fritz Urke